For some, getting tested for STDs with a new sexual partner is commonplace, even expected. But for many of us, broaching the topic can cause a lot of anxiety and fear about our new partner’s response to the request. Unfortunately, there’s no Hallmark card that we can pick up at the store to help us out. Believe me, we’ve looked! That’s why we’ve put together this helpful guide to having “the talk.”
- Be honest and clearly communicate your request. “I’d like us to get tested for STDs before we start having sex.” Simple.
- Emphasize the peace of mind that testing will bring. Without apparent symptoms, some STDs can go unnoticed for years, putting both of you at risk unnecessarily. Testing rules out that possibility and allows you to move forward, with a fresh start.
- Tell your partner that you are willing to get tested too. A lot of conflict comes from feelings of judgment or mistrust when the issue of STD testing comes up. Testing together can help overcome that hurdle and get you to the finish line.
- Face-to-Face is the only way. No matter how uncomfortable or nervous you feel – no texting or e-mailing is allowed for this conversation!
- Allow your partner to be part of the process. Choose which tests you’ll take together (comprehensive testing is always best!) and discuss how you will share results with each other when it’s time.
Check out Beth and Todd’s personal video. This couple got tested happily together. It’s Beth’s rule to get tested before she gets intimate with a new partner. She and Todd took charge of their sexual health. Remember, asking a partner to get tested is not based on suspicions you have about his/her past relationships or sexual behavior. Rather, it’s a desire to have a fresh start with a new love interest. Getting tested with your new partner is the smart, responsible decision to make. Remember, this is a good thing and a sign that your relationship is moving in the right direction! Tell us your story about “having the talk”….we’d love to hear it.
Get the Unzipped RSS feed
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by gpalmer415: http://bit.ly/4GdYgB...
whoa man….can you really get an std from oral sex???
oh ok, so he’s like you want to go to the movies and I’m like…. um yes, but first we have to go get tested….??? well, that is pretty ackward. But you can’t too certain about the partners you new friend might have had. When is the appropriate time. first date, second,… I have been dating my “friend” for about 2 weeks and I think we might be getting ready to “knock boots” soon……..What is comprehensive testing? And why is it best?
That’s a great idea! I have done that with every man I have ever been involved with. It’s the only way to go! You must be responsible with your body and treat it as the temple as it is! So just catch the movie and not the STD!
I recently came across your blog and have been learning along. I thought I would leave my first remark.
Superb Content, Top Notch, and User Friendly are the best way to describe this post, reading this motivates me.
Interesting site and good information.
It is great to find a site that offers this information, it seems we are all stressed out right now. My partner needs helps but does not want to admit it. I will come back and see if they will too, I hope so.